garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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