Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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