I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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