i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
