She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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