You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
