she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
