I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
