I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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