So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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