We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
