I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize
