everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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