he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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