If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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