I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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