we made out on top of his cat.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize