If i come over, it means nothing
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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