You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
My pussy is not your playground.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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