Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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