she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
