And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
