if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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