how can u be prego again
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Randomize