How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
