Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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