So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
