come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
