I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize