How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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