i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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