Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
