pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
