Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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