my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
