you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
