I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Randomize
