I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
