Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
