he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
