i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
