Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
