I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
