At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
