Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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