its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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