I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
