I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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