it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
