I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
this beer tastes like vomit already
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize