the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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