he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
