Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
