so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
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