You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
