I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
