And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
