Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
