dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
