i was born a porn star she said
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
