don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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