I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
