The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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