But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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