We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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