Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
God, you're like boner-b-gone
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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